I apologise if I have angered anyone with my words. If you know me well enough, I am a straightforward person and talk without even thinking about what I am eventually going to say. Due to these, many inadequate and callous remarks may be blurted out. Also at times, I may give my negative remarks towards my friends’ decisions. I don’t mean anything bad such that it becomes a discouragement. I merely want to give my side of opinions and to offer alternatives. But I realise that I have been a bit influenced by my current environment and have been quite headstrong when it comes to painting my side of the picture.

After a few days of grounding at home, I am glad that I see improvements in my infection. All thanks to the steroid that the widely accredited dermatologist with a Phd prescribed. Wait, but that is to stop the inflammation as he suspects that I am allergic to the anti fungal cream itself. It seems that his prediction is correct because upon ceasing the application of the antifungal cream, the blisters stop spreading. However, I need to go for a follow up consultation because the root of the problem which is fungal infection still has to be addressed. Finally, I am able to walk a distance without feeling itch and pain at my feet. Finally! =)

Yesterday, I went down to PC Jason’s grandma funeral. One of my relatives told me, in Chinese’s views, a funeral is a larger event compared to a wedding. Indeed, from what I have observed, the whole family gathered to mourn for the sad loss of a great relative with many family members’ friends also headed down. You see people having heartfelt chats with one another, adults playing mahjong, children running around and playing hide and seek etc. It’s one major gathering with the saddening event as the backdrop.

My dad scolded me again for sitting on a motorcycle after being honest with my mode of transport to the supper location with the platoon. He had told me repeatedly that I should never allow myself to ride or even pillion-ride a motorcycle. Yet, his words have fallen on my deaf ears because I really like the feeling of the speed and ‘openness’ of riding on a motorcycle. The feeling is just shiok to feel the huge winds blowing against you. I am sorry for making you worry again. But I really like to ride a motorcycle.

Hm, and Zhiying sorry for pangsei-ing you and not going with you to find Jason! Drove the car to Yishun while he followed behind in order to show him the way to Jason’s place. But the call was so sudden la, ‘..eh aik joon, 10 mins come down ah!’ Don’t want to pangsei, but I got to bring back the car to my brother who was heading down to Expo. But whoever wants to ask me last minute stuff, give me a bit more time. Haha maybe half an hour instead of ten minutes?

Finally, I hope for longevity for all my family members.

I still remember two years back around this time, I was patiently wating for the letter from MOE. I had heard people who had received rejection letters. Finally, at the beginning of June, I received an envelope, an A4 size envelope, and I knew for sure I had the award.

Fast forward 2 years, the only scholarship that would help me in financing my studies in NUS sent me a letter. This time, it was a small envelope. I was still pinning hopes that I would see ‘Congratulations, you have been awarded the scholarship. The detailed package will be delievered in a few days time.’ But nope, what I saw was =( ‘Thank you for taking time off for the interview…..after much careful consideration….you have been rejected….’! My heart dropped at that instant. Ha ha, I repeatedly read the letter a few times to make sure that I was not hallucinating. Still, it still read the same. ‘..REJECTED…’ Haha, right now, after half an hour past the revelation of the truth, I laughed at my reaction. Serious, due to the unpredictability of interviews, I had overcome my slight disappointment. It’s a new day again.

Dear 04S7Ds,

The gathering tomorrow at 6 at New York New York has been cancelled. Please refer to the SMS for detail. Do contact me if you have any queries. Hope to see you guys soon!

Aik Joon

American Idol ended on a huge note this morning (in Singapore time) with Cook being crowned the American Idol. Enjoy enjoy enjoy, I woke up early this morning to catch the results show which was unsusprisingly interesting to watch especially with all the rearranged songs. A very noticeable song even to music idiots would have been Apologize sung by David Archuleta and One Republic. Once again, I applaud the invention of music which has become ubiquitous yet a necessity. No rewards for knowing that music has indeed been used as a therapeutic approach in curing certain illnesses. David being in the sophomore position will, in my personal opinion, definitely be signed to a label because for the past 6 seasons, the top two have never failed to land a contract, though most have just become a one-record artiste. American Idol being able to garner a total of 97 million votes was astonishing. Like EPL which showcase brilliant soccering skills and strategies, individuals with talents can affect the lives of millions out there in the US not withholding the fact that it is also being watched in around a hundred countries worldwide.

FUCK

FUCK

FUCK

I can only say that I am unlucky to be so feeble. Just when I have made all my plans prior to the commencement of my school term, I have made myself susceptible to the intrusion of the FUCKING CALLOUS microorganism. *shoosh* All my plans have now diminished into the thin air and it just reminds once again how vulnerable human beings are. We are neither saints nor gods because we are just like another living ‘object’ in this world where entropy works at its very best. No no, I am not trying to gain any sympathy from anyone that will read this. I just yearn to exemplify human frailties. Rewind one year ago, I was lying in the hospital at CDC for over a week. I cried and yelled at the nurse whenever I was having uncontrollable spasm. Not because of the vigorous shaking but you did not know how I felt yet you kept telling me to be calm. The parasite took a toll on me every few hours leaving me weak on all limbs such that I did not even bother to talk to the people who were visiting.

I believe in freedom of choice. I finally understand that I can never tolerate any binding agreements. Let me be if I have made a choice. We are ultimately humans who will eventually have our lids shut eternally, so why be so bothered? Enjoy while we could. As a matter of fact, I totally detest people who distrust me. True that I am fickle and suffers from a paucity of earnesty at times but when I mean serious I mean serious. I will never hesitate to show my inexorable unhappiness or displease once the weak spot is tackled. All these typed with the intermittent itch and discomfort.

SHOUT OUT TO THE WORLD! FUCK! 

I just realised that I can only apply for a study loan that grants me up to 90 % of the chargeable school fees. Which means that I have to find a way to finance my spendings. *scratch* I was talking to my mum about how short a 13 weeks study semester is. She was clueless as to why it costs more that $6000 when we are only studying for 26 weeks in the whole year. Beats me.

Congratulations to all the people who are being offered study awards or scholarships. Basic allowance and a confirmed employment. Whereas, I will still be groping in the dark.